After a couple of bars of endearingly lo-fi acoustic strumming, frontman Benjamin David drearily informs us that he ‘just died in your arms tonight’, thus immediately causing you to think to yourself, “ah now there’s a tune!”
Suddenly, you’re on Youtube trying to find it, as David and The Goliaths (ho ho ho) continue to mumble monotonously about something or other, but you can’t remember the name of the band. Was it Europe? Foreigner? You type the lyrics into Google… Cutting Crew?! Who? Never heard of them. Then you begin to wonder if you should be embarrassed that you know all the words to one of the cheesiest power ballads of the 80’s, but you tell yourself it’s okay because everyone loves a bit of 80’s power balladry – you just have to pretend you’re being ironic. The Goliaths begin to get a bit louder – that’ll be the storm coming, then – but it’s futile as you’re already jumping around your room playing air guitar to Cutting Crew’s gloriously over the top anthem, and wondering what that Afrika song was called. Schoolboy error.
2/5