Jesus, what fresh hell is this? A godwaful mish-mash of sirens and past-their-sell-by beats that sound like a Dalek falling down an escalator whilst having an aneurysm, all topped off by the gurning cod-rap bollocks of Example, that’s what. A headache on shaking legs, it’s the sort of tune you’d stick on at a party if you wanted everyone to immediately fuck off home, flailing about limply in the tepid puddle of its own mind-numbing mediocrity before ending in a totally pointless volley of sirens snigger-inducingly shite lyrics. It’s a shamelessly futile exercise in noise pollution that combines every bad bit of UK hip-hop and condenses it into 3 minutes of sheer, unadulterated misery.
And in a classic case of ‘never mind the quality, feel the width’, the single comes with about eight equally pointless remixes, all of which try valiantly to polish the turd of ‘Hooligans’ before giving up and giving in. Mindless grandstanding and pointless, Neanderthal posturing: avoid.
