Towers of London

Run to the hills and block up your ears, because Towers of London still refuse to die. Apparently, they’ve even got their own TV show (on Bravo TV) and this is the theme tune. They’ve also supported their heroes, Guns N Roses, by personal request, which just goes to show that Axl Rose is even more mental than we all thought. Listening to this is like watching your flatmate play endless Guitar Hero, but less entertaining. Stupid, dull, humourless cock.

Kate Connolly

The Victorian English Gentlemen’s Club

Impossible Sightings Over Shelton

The name may conjure images of men in monocles counting Guineas over a round table in a cigar smoke filled room; I expected a musical narrative on brandy drinking, beard grooming, waistcoats, pocket watches and hearty chortles at third world famine. Instead I find the band mainly consists not of gentlemen at all, but of women (Pah! Should be seen and not heard) with a whiney male singer who sounds a bit like Billy Corgan. They have a largely gloomy bass sound, embittered by jarring female vocals that randomly lapses into optimistic bursts; it�s an interesting progression of an early 90s sound.

Laura Doherty

Zapped By A Million Volts

What�s The Miles Per Gallon, Alan?

Someone�s been listening to a little too much Ian Dury & The Blockheads, I think. True, this single has an infectious urgency about it that still survives despite the unwieldy title, but unless we�re turning the clock back twenty years it�s hard to see �What�s The Miles Per Gallon, Alan?� succeeding in the modern world. Besides, they really can�t fit that title into the chorus, and the whole effort feels needlessly rushed and cramped for style. If you�re missing Ian Dury you�ll probably love it, though.

Dan Coxon

Edward Molby


Some bands end up with their vocalist because he owns a car and not because he has an especially nice voice. I’m assuming Edward Molby are such an act. A quartet from somewhere in Yorkshire who, hilariously I can assure you, feature no-one of the name Edward Molby play guitar heavy pop fronted by a singer who whines when the music is meant to be melodic and has possibly the most pathetic scream I’ve ever heard when things get ‘heavy’. I couldn’t stand to listen beyond the entirely rubbish opening track so have no idea if things improve.

Alex Botten

The Pack


Wow, this was not what I was expecting I thought to myself. Then I realised I hadn�t actually put the promo CD of this on and was listening to Edinburgh hip-hop act 3Style from last year�s T-Break sampler which was still in the machine. True story. Vans, the debut single from hip-hop�s next big thing was not as impressive. Very much influenced by Snoop Dogg, the lyrics lack intelligence and the beats are repetitive with an annoying chorus. They�ll probably be huge.

Kirk Burton

The Kills

No Wow

Did anyone ever like this band? Yet another lumpen wad of wooooooo scary-scary swampy blues. Surely it’s time for this bandwagon to roll out of town. Dross.

Mono Taxi

Kind Of Better

Mono Taxi‘s debut single A Kind Of Better initially sounds slapdash and lazy. It’s identekit woozy indie-pop. However, the more exposure you have to it the more it gets under your skin. If gallic’s your thing check this out. If not, do so anyway it’ll make you feel summery this dreary autum. Altogether now: Expensive shampoo’s out of my league…

And, it has a b-side that reminds me of the way The Bangles were always supposed to sound. Jolly good.