At only thirty-eight, Melissa Auf der Maur has seen and experienced more than most people do in their lifetime.
After spending five years working as the bass player for one of rock’s most controversial bands – Hole – she has gone on to forge a successful career as a front-woman in her own right. With the recent release of her second album Out of Our Minds, Melissa Auf Der Maur has proven to her critics that she has a rare raw spark within her that doesn’t just depend on fame or her ties to the Hole legacy. We were given the rare opportunity to have a chat with the fiery-haired rock legend at the Glasgow date of her OOOM tour…
So, you’re here tonight promoting Out of Our Minds which is your second solo effort. Could you tell us a little bit about it? What made you decide to fuse your music with conceptual art?
Well, prior to having a full-time career in music I was at an art school in Montreal studying photography. I actually attended art school my entire life – growing up, my Mother sent me to a fantastic and very experimental school of the arts right through from from the age of six to high school and college. There I was able to study music, visual arts and performing arts equally so I had always done all of them up until I was hijacked by rock music when I was offered the once in a lifetime opportunity to make music full-time. Essentially, for a decade I couldn’t say no to music as it just kept offering me all these incredible opportunities. When I came out of that I decided it was time to return to the roots which I had left behind and so I made myself a personal and creative promise that with this new record I would find a way to marry all of my passions into one. I didn’t want to have to sacrifice one over the other like I had done in the past.
Obviously a lot has also changed in the 21st century with audio/visual consumption and the way mixed media is now obviously more tangible. It became a lot easier for me to make a film than it would have been in the past. I guess technology evolved at the same time my creative desires evolved.
Did the inspiration for the album, comic book and film all come from the same place?
What happened was I locked myself away for an entire winter in New England. I spent that winter alone primarily writing for what was going to be my new record but I also knew that at the same time I was hunting for the theme that would become a film in a much larger conceptual project. I was literally playing a bass line when the song Out of Our Minds was written – my voice just turned into some sort of ancient wailing and I started singing the words “Travel out of our minds into our hearts, Standing by, Our hearts have been standing by for so long”. That’s when it became clear to me that this was to be the central statement of the project. After that, the goal became how to continue keeping that spirit within the songs and how to make it into a film story.
I met the director Tony Stone after I watched his first feature film which is called Severed Ways. It was a Viking period piece shot on digital with black metal music all mixed into one crazy film and I instantly knew that was the kind of guy I wanted to work with on this – someone who could mix new and old with music and technology. There were certain references I knew I wanted to make like Vikings and witches and time-travel but it is not a music video by any means.
The comic book is a mirror of the film with a couple of twists in it. My blog documented the whole five years I spent making the project and the trials and tribulations that come with becoming an independent artist. My blog is a complete chapter of the project within itself.
You worked on this project for over 5 years. Are we right in thinking you funded a lot of it yourself?
Oh fuck yes! I completely self-produced and self-funded. The way I’ve always seen it is that every penny I’ve ever made from the arts I just put right back into the arts. It’s hard enough to make a life as an artist – I never assumed you could actually make a career out of music and I think anyone who thinks you can is crazy! I mean I guess you could become a professional music maker but that’s not what I have ever aimed to be. I go through phases where I make a little bit of money but it always just goes straight back into my art.
How important is it for you to have that kind of control over your art?
It’s incredibly important to me – probably to a fault! Everything I do is based on the feeling in my heart and not any thought in my mind which is obviously what this whole entire project is about. Out of Our Minds is an invitation for people to travel out of their fucking stupid gridlocked minds and return to the fiery pit in your soul which can tell you the real answer. The problem is we are living in a much more mental and intellectually-based reality. In some ways, it is totally crazy that I make all my decisions based on my idealistic hopes but I’m just programmed and hardwired that way. People like me exist everywhere but I think I have no choice other than to follow my heart or it just feels wrong and I don’t want to look back and regret things. One of the main reasons I decided to self-finance and leave all the managers behind was that I figured I should be able to take responsibility for what I’m doing. In the end, it’s the best way to do it but there are a lot of learning curves that come with it – I never said I was a business major!
When you made your first solo albums after spending time working playing with two of rock’s most iconic bands, did you find it hard making the transition from bass player to front woman or did it come naturally to you?
It was very intense. It came slowly and it was a challenge and it still is – I’m only on my second record as a lead-songwriter and as a leader and I am still a developing artist. I became very comfortable at being somebody’s bass player but I think I took that as far as I could have because I didn’t want to end up doing the same thing twice.
It was definitely a tough transition because when I recorded my first record I had never even performed any of the songs live before. I wrote then in my bedroom then went into a studio to record them then had to go on tour for a year! That whole tour educated me on my voice so when I went into the studio to record this project I had a little bit more of an understanding of how to use my voice. After this tour and this project, I hope I will be closer to being almost as good a singer as I am a bass player. I plan to go neck and neck with them but right now I am definitely a bass player first and singer second!
You famously spent 5 years working as a bassist for Hole before going on to tour with The Smashing Pumpkins. When you put so much money, time and passion into your solo projects, do you find it frustrating that people still associate you so heavily with those bands after all this time?
No, because it’s part of my destiny. For some reason, I believe those people were supposed to come into my life and change the course of my life. In the same way that my parents will always be my parents, Billy and Courtney will always be the strange parental figures that opened those doors for me and gave me a life in music. They are as important to me as they are to anyone else who looks at my life from an outside perspective. I do think that there is some judgement that people may make about me based on these associations which I don’t think are correct but that’s just based on those people being short-sided. Then again, there are people who can see people for who they are and not people or things they are associated with.
I think what’s interesting is that when I released my first solo record I had only been out of those bands for a couple of years so I expected a shit-load of questions about those bands but now I almost ten years free of being in either and I am getting just as many questions about them this time round! Both of those bands have reunited in the past couple of years so I guess I’m not surprised that I’m getting asked about them again – though the big question this time round is why I’m not part of either reunion.
I’ve had to prove myself as an artist even to myself and I feel like maybe after the next project I will have spent enough time showing who I am and maybe by then people will see it more as that and not as the past.
How have your perceptions of touring changed over the years? You’ve had somewhat of a backwards experience…you started out playing to tens of thousands of people with Hole from the very start.
I like the weird backwards experience I’ve had! When I joined Hole, the first show I played with them was the Reading festival in front of 60,000 people. Before that, I had never even played outside of my hometown. I felt like I’d fallen down the rabbit hole, through the looking glass. Ever since, I feel like I’ve been trying to work my way back to the beginning. Until now, I’ve never experienced that feeling of starting from scratch and building something from the ground up. Some people might say that it’s bad business or self-destructive but I basically decided to disappear for three years so I could purify myself and start at the root and then come up from that and see what it feels like. Being onstage tonight feels completely different than it ever did being onstage with Hole or for my first record as even then I had the big machines of a major label behind which could dictate lots of what the press would say about me. It’s a totally different experience to know that most of the people out there came mainly because I made an album out of my back pocket and put it on a website and they followed my blog and came to my show. That means the world to me and I think that’s what I needed as a human and as an artist just to feel that direct contact with the people. It’s totally different but it’s also more intimate and that’s what I think music should be about.
You were pretty open about your disappointment at the Hole reunion that took place earlier this year which saw Courtney Love as the only returning member. Have you had a listen to Nobody’s Daughter? What did you think of it?
I was very honest with Courtney about the way I could have envisioned a reunion. She was very open with me and we did have a meeting to discuss the possibilities of a reunion but I just felt that doing a retrospective made more sense to me than doing a whole new album with a whole new line-up. That being said, I have complete respect for her making music and putting records out – she should be doing that because that’s where she belongs. I’m glad that she’s out there doing it but I just have some questions about how it was done as far as why it was called a reunion, that didn’t make sense to me especially as there were chances of a real reunion. We’ll see though, the future could bring other things.
In your opinion, did that close the door on a real Hole reunion ever happening in the future?
I think that’s probably the only comment I did make publicly. I think that this has confused it so much that it would be really hard to do a real Hole reunion at this point. I think unfortunately she has done some damage between her and Eric and I don’t know how he would feel about doing anything for real at this point. I think a lot of bridges have been burnt there.
Have you actually listened to Nobody’s Daughter? If so, what did you think of it?
Someone actually gave me a copy recently but Courtney also sent me demos back when it was a solo project because she had asked me to sing on it. I’d heard demos and there were some great lyrics on it. I love the title of the record because I think it’s really fantastic for her. I’ve listened to some of it and I have a lot of respect for Michael Bienhorn who we made Celebrity Skin with. I know that some parts show her at her very, very best.
And finally, Out of Minds has been a long time coming. What can fans expect from you in the future? Do you have any plans for after the tour to work on more new material?
After this tour, I am going to hibernate for the winter whilst I figure out how to make my next project. I like the idea that I don’t have to wait for an album cycle or make a full twelve song album, I can just make songs and put them out there when they’re ready. I feel like I’ve created a weird enough statement with Out of Our Minds that I can continue to put more music out there as quickly as I like, without having to rely on a label.
Out Of Our Minds is, finally, out now. More at xmadmx.com