Ah, now. This is difficult. On the one hand, it would be really predictable for me to slate this. I am, after all, writing for a COOL INDIE website. And to some people (my Mum and Dad), I’m a COOL INDIE person. And the last couple of parties I’ve been at have been tainted by Lady GaGa replacing some COOL INDIE music I put on. It’d be easy to have a go at this, claiming that it’s all terrible, major label, forceful disco pop shit without actually listening to the song, simply having a go because well, I’ve heard of it. It’s popular.
On the other hand, though, it is actually fucking awful.
‘Just Dance’ (dayyunnnce) had its charms, no doubt. The keyboard ostinato is a catchy one, and it’s about something we can all relate to. Getting hammered, absolutely hammered to the point that you don’t know what’s going on. Relating to music doesn’t make it automatically good, but still, it was a likeable pop song and you can understand why it got popular. Really, really popular.
But this is just terrible. It’s tacky, it’s annoying, the synths sound like a Casio keyboard demo or something, and the lyrics are just diabolical. It’s all extended metaphors about playing cards (when really, it’s apparently about thinking about a girl during sex with a man, so I’ve been informed), and near the end of the song it’s all distorted and she’s talking about “bluffin’ with my muffin”, which isn’t even “aww, that’s not even meant to be good, it’s like totally funny LOL!”, it’s a painfully embarrassing series of words.
The verses are so dependent on the chorus that they might as well just play the chorus for the whole song , because, let’s face it, this music is for getting drunk and dancing to, so that’s the only bit that people really care about if they listen to this stuff. But it sounds like someone doing an impression of Christina Aguilera over a Timbaland b-side and I’m sorry, I know this has been predictable but this is utter, utter wank.
Download via iTunes – you know you want to!
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