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Don Broco / We Are The In Crowd / Young Guns

Kerrang Tour @ Glasgow O2 Academy (Monday 25th February)

By • Feb 25th, 2015 • Category: gig reviews

First things first, we need to deal with the mahoosive elephant in the room here. Now, I know less about the current state of metal than I do about Chopin and I stopped listening to her after the ill-advised jazz-funk years. Hence it is a must to attend tonight. Here to learn, here to report back.

What I can say is that this seems all, very… pop. No bad thing of course but not what I’m expecting. Observing that chief support We Are The In Crowd sound not unlike Avril Lavigne backed by Busted with the amps turned up to 10 1/2 – the notes do not lie – well, not what one imagines Kerrang to be putting on to be honest.

‘Tis of course just labels, and largely irrelevant, but even the main event, Don Broco strike me as a boy band at heart. It ain’t ‘ardcore, that’s fo’ sure. The inter-band soundtrack features Taylor Swift et al. Suicidal Tendencies and Metallica are a touch thin on the ground (…absent entirely). Telling, in retrospect.

Anyhoo, I’m lucky to gain admittance in the first place. Pro tip: bicycle tools in a bag really do look like offensive weapons. They really do. Leave ’em at home.

However, having explained all that away and slithered in, there’s a fine crowd in tonight. Definitely at the young end of the spectrum – which given the bands on show is perhaps to be expected. Certainly into it though. An enthusiastic bunch given to the odd spot of crowd surfing. Feeling the knees creak, I go native and order a Jack Daniels. With a dry white wine chaser, obviously; there are limits.

A couple of songs by Young Guns are agreeably loud – certainly a noisier system than Robert Plant here a few months back. Hard to assess on such a brief listen and besides, Avril is on tout suite. Not before some platforms are erected for her to clamber about on mind. She’s only a little lad.

It’s certainly a spunky performance and she and the boys make full use of their climbing frames. Is it rock though? I guess so but there’s a pervading sense that they would be happy going at it in any genre. I suspect a committed metal head would be tutting but I can’t locate any to collar.

Viewed as chart fodder it’s lively stuff though. Not so original perhaps but what is? I’d not be surprised to see a ballady duet with some reprehensibly bland artiste in the future.

Some more chart-bothering pop from the dj or CD and, to rapturous squeals, on gambol Don Broco. And squeals they are. Good looking boys these and some tight, tight troosers on display. The lassies go bonkers, I fling some more JD down my neck to get with the program.

Or I try to anyway. This program really is a bit vanilla, a touch Saturday night. It’s all a bit sensitive for the ladies…a bit loud for the lads dragged along… a bit melodic to show the skills… some waving about of their taut buns in the aforementioned skinny keks.

It’s all perfectly fine in a somewhat ho hum kind of way. And it is definitely a pop gig. There is a little mosh pit action but it’s a touch half-hearted and frankly seems a little incongruous. This is about the latest handsome lads de jours with a legion of devotees… any pretence at rocktastic action is largely that. A pretence. I think if Lemmy accidentally wandered in he’d either have a heart attack on the spot or take us aside for a stern talking to.

A final futile glass of Bourbon to see if it’s just me but alas no. Adequate chart fodder, nothing more nothing less.

I’m reunited with my battery of weapons / couple of spanners and an Allen key, and splatter off into the night. Restorative destination, Rockus in Finnieston. Entry presents me with Spinal Tap projected on the wall and Guns N’ Roses on the stereo. The internal Vosneometer twitches to 11…

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