Scottish Songbook @ Celtic Connections
Glasgow Royal Concert Hall (Sat 16th January)
I find myself tonight in the Concert Hall, aka Joe’s Porch, a municipal masterpiece, still with the same “turn the colours down” carpet that gave me a headache way back in 1990 (it was just finished for Year of Culture, Oct I think). Tried to put £1 on Mrs Robinson for no. 1 but no bookies interested, however see Youtube Leviticus references.
Cut the crap Betty - it’s a high profile event with much evidence of the BBC mafia in attendance (the outside broadcast unit, the biggest mixing desk I’ve ever seen -we’re gonnae be on the telly).
A week before the “gig” I am told that the standing area ticket is now a “carbaret style seating” event. As a retired buresque dancer I like cabaret as much as the next person but it believe it normally involves free access to the bar, my friends, as Lisa Minelli once didn’t say.
My attempts to get some beer at one of the 9 bars leave me in a queue for access when the thing starts (already 15 minutes late) and we are told that due to filming we will only be admitted when there is applause. Hmm, should I text my pal inside and ask him to start spontaneous applause inside the auditorium?
Artists comprised the great and the good but mercifully Pat Kane did not appear (check out that Xmas single, or rather don’t…)
The concept, or remit, if you will, of the show is that a variety of people will perform Scottish songs (written by Scotch people) from the last 100 years. The show is compered by Karine Polwart and Ricky Ross and backed by (house band) Session A9 (4 teuchters and a piano is perhaps a bit cruel) and other assorted musicians.
The audience seemed a bit, erm, old - I’m 42 and this is the first time in a while I have felt youthful at a musical event. There was clapping, some cheering and oh dear, clapping along, so perhaps it’s retirement homes here we come. Being a “folk” gig I did do a beard check and in general it was about 1.5 onstage, or 2.75 when King Creosote was on, so surprising low, although can’t speak for the audience’s tanktop count - lighting too low.
Anyway there is too much to cover so it’s the good, the bad and the ugly:
The Good:
- Nieve McKinnon reminding us (in song) that a guy from Possil (Rev D. Wayne Love, no less…) wrote the Sopranos theme (’Woke Up This Morning’) in very fine style - shame that the Alabaster 3 were not invited or failed to appear.
- Ricky Ross starts with a Harry Lauder anti-war song (!) then dives into a Michael Marra song about what happened to Chris Guthrie (Scots Quair, literate readers)’s husband who got it (death, that is) in WW1. This one worked and brought a genuine tear to the eye, most moving moment of the night, and Ricky did a manful job with compering and Dundee jokes although trouser criticism of KC maybe a bit OTT.
- King Creosote played 2 songs (backed by the house band, not Pictish Trail etc), firstly a bold (!!!) version of ‘Party Fears Two’ - heard the first chord and thought “oh no way will he get away with this”, but he did. No idea what percentage of the audience had any idea what it was, but it was a challenging rendition of a challenging song - absolute gold, even the mock falsetto. The second was far later in the evening (after “interval drinks”, at a cabaret, you are joking?) “Cod Liver Oil and Orange Juice”, often in the live set anyway, and interestingly different for the big style backing - hopefully he won some converts tonight.
- Silly Wizard - never heard their music before and always thought a very dodgy name - anyway, 2 songs, one hilarious, about the monstrous regiment of women and a wee bit anti-Turkish (sample lyric “Ottoman profanity then he kebabbed me). Second song had some read emotion and Andy T Stewart had some charisma, chatting with the audience about how the band had to break up for “medical reasons”, i.e. the docs said you have to stop.
- couple of very good previously unknowns for me, Siobhan Miller certainly has a voice and had a poise and confidence which could bode well for the future.
The Bad:
- the Gaelic, I’m sorry but I like it as much as the next man, woman or transexual (Mouth Music anyone?) but a couple of these “numbers” were like damp lettuce with a double cliche side-order. The reverential way that trad Gaelic music is treated is beginning to get my goat, a fairly average Runrig cover and yes the guy has a good voice but take away the vocal and this is AOR, flipping Bruce Hornsby and the Range - of course it’s very traditional and worth a lot of subsidy…
(also sorry I missed a couple due to bar and toilet issues, life is a cabaret after all)
The ugly:
- oh dear, if he’d just done one number and left… One of the main reasons I attended tonight was the billed appearance of BA “BA” Robertson for the first time in (his words) 29 years. Appearing in part 2, looking like Jackie Stewart and Richard Jobson’s bastard spawn, he was the first artist to bow and introduced an interesting take on ‘Twisted’ (written or co-written by a scotchwoman, Annie Ross, look it up) sounding like Nutini’s grandad on acid. He did well on this but almost spoiled it by threatening to play ‘I Have A Dream’ but this was a joke, thankfully.
Nothing however prepared me for what was to follow, 20 minutes later. The intro (Ricky again) did mention the songs he had written for other people, and the penny should have dropped then. But no, like a fool I remained unaware of the atrocity I was about to experience until the first chord (I knew he’d co-written it with Rutherford but didn’t think he’d admit to it live onstage in Glasgae). A quite witty intro about his dad and his dad’s brother (still no clue, oh dear) still did not prepare me. I then had a terrible feeling in my gusset as the first chords of ‘The Living Years’ vomited into my ear.
(The Living Years was a US number 1 hit in 1990 and is the musical equivalent of Jeremy Clarkson’s jeans - nuff said.)
To unleash this on an unsuspecting CC Glasgow audience was unforgivable and possibly illegal. This was the most painful 7+ minutes I have ever had to sustain. BA grimly grated through it, like Elton without the subtlety, slowly and in a cod-serious voice… no it can’t be allowed - another 29 years cannot be too long. Keep this man down south, well down south.
Karine then returned to the stage - respect to Karine although not sure why Ballads of the Book was not mentioned as this looked to me like the clear origin of the idea. However, BA was quite enough for me and I ran for cover, my ears literally bleeding and my mind racing that I had actually paid money to witness ‘The Living Years’ performed with no trace of irony by its writer. He also broke the rules by playing his own song, not someone else’s - the egotism of it!
The TV special the following Monday night informed me that there was even a further number, a “finale” with everyone droning out ‘Sunshine on Leith’ (good song but)… glad I was in the pub by then.
Betty Mayonnaise
