Following the riotous scenes at the Ruby Lounge in Manchester that saw people literally throwing themselves at the stage in Smiths-like fan worshipping, it was back up the road to Inverness for the first dates in Scotland since the band’s signing to Columbia Records.
The infamous Raigmore Hotel was the venue and the band made it there despite the obligatory car trouble - the fact that it broke down right outside a pub called The Phoenix (”Carlsberg don’t do breakdowns, but…”) was too much for James and Rab to resist and they promptly ventured inside for a pint leaving Geraldine and Denise to deal with the car. “We are men of today” proclaims James.
The journey included a stop off at Moray Firth Radio for an interview, which the presenter, James and Rab all agreed afterwards was their worst ever. Might have had something to do with Rab mentioning live on air that the last time he had seen her she was stealing a bottle of whisky from a hotel.
Those in the van for the journey up had to put up with Paul’s choice of Flight of the Conchords on the DVD player, whether they liked it or not. It is more than likely that as many people tried to squeeze in the front of the van in order to escape Paul’s incredible flatulence, his excuse being he had a curry….2 DAYS AGO. That’s some storage capacity, Paul!
The gig itself was another rowdy one and went really well despite the pitfalls of a small step on the stage which James insists was only about two inches high, although Rab and Paul were adamant it was massive (probably because they kept looking like dicks tripping over it!)
On the subject of Paul looking like a dick, his girlfriend’s comment on him “looking like Bambi learning to walk” on Later with Jools Holland certainly got a good laugh in the camp. After the gig, James insisted he was the last man standing, returning to his hotel room at 7am after partying with some Fife friends who have traveled up for the gig. One of whom, Jo, was heard telling one of the night porters that she would “hoover their carpet for a discount on more drink.” Perhaps no one had told her that by that point they were drinking their own supply of booze; after all, there are very few hotels about that sell Buckie!
With Inverness successfully conquered, it was on to Stirling but first an all important pit stop at the local Tesco to get a copy of the new NME which, as you will have seen by now, features a certain Scottish band on the front cover (Rab can name you all the recent chart-friendly Scottish bands who haven’t had this accolade with a certain degree of joy). It must have been an amusing sight, and a picture in itself, to see James, Caroline, Paul, Rab, Denise and Geraldine all queuing up with their copy. Rab attempted to skip the rest of the band, and the queue, by playing the “Do you know who I am?” card, tongue firmly in cheek I might add, but the wifie at the till was having none of it, pointing a sheepish Rab to the back, much to the amusement of his bandmates. It seems celebrity counts for nothing in an Inverness Tesco!
And so on to Stirling and a return to the notorious Fubar club, a former home to the famous rave nights which were held there in the nineties where the “Here we fuckin’ go” chants no doubt were heard pre-’Go Square Go’. The band relaxed backstage sipping tonic wine from cocktail glasses, even taking time to listen to some new album mixes sent from Rich Costey in New York - work never stops it seems.
Talk soon turns to food and most of us in the room were put off by Paul’s constant trumping which he was still blaming on that curry! Also, James tells of Paul’s recent kebab attack on Caroline which involved him shoving a whole kebab in her face, custard pie style - retaliation for her chucking a bottle of water over him for slagging off a certain English solo legend that she holds dear to her heart. Needless to say the sell-out crowd go mental for the band and it’s safe to say that the Fubar won’t see many Wednesday night gigs like this one, with almost every song an anthem. Eventually the crowd disperse and some are embraced by (sweaty) members of the band at the merch stall, as thoughts turn towards Glasgow and the first of two sold-out nights at the ABC2…